“How do we get our baby onto a schedule? Or is better to just with the flow? We don’t like the idea of not having a plan.” Is this you? 

When it comes to birth and breastfeeding it’s pretty universally agreed upon that things won’t go according to plan. We’re well prepared for the fact that birth can unfold in a multitude of ways and that not everyone has the easiest time breastfeeding. 

So then why do we expect that we’ll be able to plan our parenting style out and our baby will just go along with it? 

Expectant parents hear a LOT of stories and advice from other people. They are also hyper aware of what other people with babies are doing. I hear a whole lot of “we are NOT going to make the same mistakes as everyone else.” and “we are going to make a schedule and stick to it.” 

What they (or you reading this) fail to realize is that the problem doesn’t lie in the fact that these parents let their plan get away from them. 

The reality is that a human baby is not a programmable alarm clock. 

There are so many variables when it comes to human babies. Some are born great sleepers, others take to feeding as if they’ve done it a million times before. Some require a lot of time wrapped, strapped and carried in their parents’ arms, and others need their space. 

Hmm, it’s almost as if babies are as different and unique as us adults…

Sure, many babies can be trained (I prefer guided or coaxed) to sleep longer and more independently using a sleep consultant or any of the different sleep-training methods out there, they can be tricked into trying foods they previously refused, and we can try, try, and try again to get our baby to take a bottle but I guarantee you, your parenting plan isn’t going to go according to plan. 

And that’s OKAY! The age old question of “nature versus nurture” will never be more at the forefront of your mind as you watch your baby grow and exist in this world. Your plans will, and should, adapt and change as you get to know them and their preferences and together you’ll create a new lifestyle that hopefully suits all of you. 

Getting your baby onto a schedule will become more about learning your baby and less about following some sort of rule you thought existed.