Do I need to write a birth plan?

This is a very common question. Writing a birth plan has been very trendy for such a long time in the world of birth and babies, that I fear it has lost some meaning. Most naysayers will tell you, “you can’t plan for a birth!” Some Drs or Nurses will say that those with complicated birth plans are most likely headed for a Cesarean (not true!). 

Some people think they’ll forego the birth plan and instead they will go with the flow, see how things go, keep it light and easy. 

There is a difference between being open to the unpredictable nature of birth and “going with the flow”. 

When people tell me they have no birth plan and that their plan is to “go with the flow”, I know that what they mean is:

• We don’t want to get attached to an outcome
• We’re scared to have big expectations or wishes for our birth in case it doesn’t go well
• We don’t have a clue what to expect so we’ll just see how it goes

I wish I could smile and nod and say “great idea guys!” but that’s not my style. Instead I ask them what that means exactly. What happens if the birth starts to flow in a direction that feels really scary or negative? What if they get confused about what’s happening? 

The idea of going with the flow sounds really chill, man… but in reality it normally means things are completely out of your control and you have no sense of what is coming next. 

It’s okay to not have a plan set in stone. In fact, I recommend NOT doing that.

But, it is a great idea to know how you want to feel at your birth, what you wish and hope for, and it is absolutely a good idea to know what your options are and how to navigate. 

Only dead fish go with the flow.

This is your birth experience, it’s in your best interest to take an interest in how it unfolds. It won’t always go according to plan, but being actively involved means you’re more likely to have a good experience.